The Importance of Interacting with Your Child: Fostering Brain Development, Reducing Trauma, and Building Resilience
In today’s fast-paced world, where work, school, and extracurriculars are constantly competing for our time, the importance of interacting with your child can’t be overstated. These moments of connection are foundational for their healthy development. For parents, educators, and even motivational speakers and life coaches, understanding how to support children through intentional, trauma-informed practices can make a significant difference. Through simple, focused interactions, we can foster brain development, reduce the effects of adverse childhood experiences (ACEs), and support resilience that will serve them well for a lifetime.
Brain Development and the Role of Interaction
Interacting with children in a nurturing, engaging way is essential for brain development. The first few years of life are critical for brain growth, and the brain undergoes significant development well into the teen years. In fact, regular positive interactions have been shown to help develop the brain’s executive functions, which govern impulse control, decision-making, and emotional regulation—skills that children carry with them into adulthood.
One powerful method that parents, caregivers, and trauma-informed professionals emphasize is the concept of “serve and return.” Serve and return is an interactive process where a child “serves” by expressing a need or showing curiosity, and an adult “returns” by responding positively and encouragingly. This back-and-forth exchange, like a game of tennis, builds neural connections in the brain, strengthening communication and helping children feel seen and valued.
Reducing the Impact of Adverse Childhood Experiences (ACEs)
Many motivational speakers, conference keynote presenters, and life coaches today are educating audiences about ACEs, or adverse childhood experiences, and their long-term effects. These can include various forms of trauma, such as abuse, neglect, or exposure to mental illness or substance abuse within the family. Studies have shown that ACEs, particularly when unaddressed, increase the risk of negative outcomes in adulthood, such as mental health issues, substance abuse, and chronic health problems.
But here’s the good news: while ACEs can have lasting effects, positive interactions, like serve and return, can significantly reduce these effects by providing children with a safe space to express themselves and learn self-worth. Trauma-informed professionals recommend that parents and caregivers focus on consistent, positive interactions to help children develop coping mechanisms and resilience. Through regular interaction, we can teach children that they are loved, capable, and resilient, offering them a firm foundation no matter what challenges they may face.
How Interaction Strengthens Emotional and Social Skills
When we engage with our children in intentional ways, we are building their social and emotional skills, helping them understand and regulate their emotions, and developing empathy for others. Life coaches and trauma-informed educators emphasize that these skills are vital for success in school, relationships, and the workplace. For instance, by responding calmly to a toddler’s frustration or acknowledging a teenager’s emotions, parents model healthy emotional responses that children internalize and later use in their own lives.
Moreover, this kind of interaction strengthens a child’s emotional resilience, allowing them to handle stress and recover from setbacks more effectively. Children who experience consistent positive interaction and validation are more likely to build self-confidence and have healthier relationships. They learn not only how to express themselves but also how to be empathetic listeners, a skill that will serve them well as they grow.
Practical Ways to Foster Meaningful Interactions
Building these interactions into your daily routine doesn’t have to be complicated. Here are a few practical ideas:
Engage in Daily Conversations: Whether it’s at breakfast or on the drive home, ask open-ended questions that invite them to share their thoughts and feelings. Show genuine interest and respond positively to their answers.
Practice Serve and Return: If a child points out something exciting or asks a question, engage with enthusiasm. Give them your full attention, respond thoughtfully, and encourage them to explore their curiosity.
Create Routine Check-ins: Establish daily or weekly check-ins to ask about their day, what they’re enjoying, or any challenges they’re facing. This gives children a chance to share in a structured environment where they feel safe to open up.
Model Emotional Responses: By showing your own emotions in a healthy way, you’re teaching children how to recognize, understand, and handle their feelings. Express your feelings openly and let them see you work through problems calmly and constructively.
Be Playful: Play is one of the most natural forms of interaction, especially for young children. Through play, they learn creativity, problem-solving, and how to handle challenges in a safe environment.
Why These Interactions Matter
The time we spend with our children, actively listening and interacting, is vital for building their sense of self and belonging. For those who have experienced adverse childhood experiences, these moments can be especially powerful, as they can counteract some of the negative effects of early trauma. Trauma-informed life coaches and motivational speakers often underscore that simple, consistent actions can make a significant difference in a child’s life. They learn they are valued and capable, which bolsters their self-esteem and self-worth.
Whether you’re a parent, an educator, or someone passionate about youth development, remember that every positive interaction counts. Building resilience isn’t about erasing challenges or protecting children from every negative experience—it’s about equipping them with the tools to face life’s challenges with confidence and strength. And for adults who aim to make an impact, such as conference keynote speakers or youth advocates, this foundational approach underscores the power of presence and connection in a young person’s life.
At the end of the day, investing time and energy into our children isn’t just an investment in their present—it’s an investment in their future. Through these intentional interactions, we are not only fostering brain development and reducing the effects of trauma but also empowering the next generation to lead with empathy, resilience, and courage.
If you’re interested in having Nathan Wray as a keynote speaker for your next conference or event, please reach out via email at nathan@nathanwrayspeaks.com to discuss how his expertise in trauma-informed coaching, resilience building, and youth advocacy can inspire and empower your audience.
